Muff Diver - Deodorant, Body Hair & Beard Conditioner, Aphrodisiac

Surreal Skincare

  • $30.00
Shipping calculated at checkout.


Body odor is natural & personal…and sometimes a little too personal.  Not everyone is going to get up in your gear in the first place, but if they do, you’re going to want to wash their senses in ecstasy and make their nose hairs twitch in anticipation.
Whether that foul, musky smell is coming from your man’s beard, your armpits or your crotch…it’s caused by bacteria that are snacking on the proteins in your sweat and in turn, releasing a foul smell.  Want to kill the smell?  Then kill the bacteria that are causing it.
Muff Diver is designed to do 2 things….the first of which is to make your bodily, hunk of flesh the most divine smelling meat-bag in the galaxy and the second thing is to kill all the bacteria trying to do the opposite.
Muff Diver kills bacteria faster than Trump’s pillow talk kills your mood.  It’s loaded with our in-house, Benzoin Sumatra extract; a tree resin from Java that contains large amounts of the bacterial/fungal killers benzoic acid and cinnamic acid.  In addition to Benzoin Sumatra, Muff Diver has a smattering of other diverse bacterial killers like clove oil, tangerine oil, bergamot oil and copaiba balsam (another tree resin).  Wherever you’re laying down Muff Diver, it’s guaranteed to be killing bacteria and fungus….and turning that body odor into an olfactory orgasm.
Muff Diver’s scent is rich & timeless, with strong vanilla overtones cascading like fresh mountain air through fir trees dipped in tangerine.  The high notes unleash energy and desire with the low-notes offering warm, holiday comfort.  Muff Diver is an intoxicating and psychedelic experience for any nose, be it male, female or any shade in between.
No matter if you’re as hairless as a sphinx or channelling disco fever from the 70’s, you can apply Muff Diver to your armpits and/or pubic area (external use only).   Muff Diver not only  treats, conditions & moisturizes hair roots and shafts, but it also gets rid of razor burn and ingrown hairs.  You’re welcome.
Men with beards are big fans.  Girlfriends of men with beards are also big fans 😁
Rub a few pumps of Muff Diver between your hands then apply wherever desired.  Try to rub Muff Diver deep into the roots of your hair follicles.
Pro Tip - Apply immediately after drying off from the shower.

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