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Muff Diver was designed to do two things....make a man's beard smell like an orgasmic forest from the far lands of Rivendell...and to make your armpits and crotch smell even better than that.

Massage 2 pumps of Muff Diver between the hands and attempt to rub it into the skin underneath the beard, armpits or pubic area.  Muff Diver will coat the shaft of each hair keeping it hydrated and shiny.  Muff Diver delivers critical fatty acids and nutrients to soothe the follicles and to grow stronger, thicker, shinier hair.  Muff Diver will also tame frizzy flyaways and turn a Gandolf looking bush into a streamlined Clark Kent.  
No matter if you’re as hairless as a sphinx or channelling disco fever from the 70’s, you can apply Muff Diver to your armpits and/or pubic area (external use only).   Muff Diver not only treats, conditions & moisturizes hair roots and shafts, but it also gets rid of razor burn and ingrown hairs.  You’re welcome.

Muff Diver’s scent is rich & timeless, with strong vanilla overtones cascading like fresh mountain air through fir trees dipped in tangerine.  The high notes unleash energy and desire with the low-notes offering warm, spicy holiday comfort.  Muff Diver is an intoxicating and psychedelic experience for any nose, be it male, female or any shade in between.

Men with beards are big fans.  Girlfriends and boyfriends of men with beards are also big fans 😁  

Pro Tip - Apply immediately after drying off from the shower while you're still slightly damp.

Amla Oil, Grape Seed Oil, Hazelnut Oil, Perilla Seed Oil, Hemp Seed Oil, Carrot Seed Oil, Jojoba, Black Cumin Seed Oil, Avocado Oil, Wild Orange Oil, Tangerine Oil, Brazil Nut Oil, Borage Oil, Siberian Fir Needle Oil, Douglas Fir Oil, Hemlock Spruce Oil, Buddha Wood Absolute, Elemi Oil, Pomelo Oil, Copaiba Balsam, D-Alpha Tocopherol, Ylang Ylang Complete, Clove Oil

Muff Diver - Body Hair & Beard Conditioner, Frizz Control, Deodorant

Regular price $62.00
Unit price
per 
5.0 (10)

Muff Diver was designed to do two things....make a man's beard smell like an orgasmic forest from the far lands of Rivendell...and to make your armpits and crotch smell even better than that.

Massage 2 pumps of Muff Diver between the hands and attempt to rub it into the skin underneath the beard, armpits or pubic area.  Muff Diver will coat the shaft of each hair keeping it hydrated and shiny.  Muff Diver delivers critical fatty acids and nutrients to soothe the follicles and to grow stronger, thicker, shinier hair.  Muff Diver will also tame frizzy flyaways and turn a Gandolf looking bush into a streamlined Clark Kent.  
No matter if you’re as hairless as a sphinx or channelling disco fever from the 70’s, you can apply Muff Diver to your armpits and/or pubic area (external use only).   Muff Diver not only treats, conditions & moisturizes hair roots and shafts, but it also gets rid of razor burn and ingrown hairs.  You’re welcome.

Muff Diver’s scent is rich & timeless, with strong vanilla overtones cascading like fresh mountain air through fir trees dipped in tangerine.  The high notes unleash energy and desire with the low-notes offering warm, spicy holiday comfort.  Muff Diver is an intoxicating and psychedelic experience for any nose, be it male, female or any shade in between.

Men with beards are big fans.  Girlfriends and boyfriends of men with beards are also big fans 😁  

Pro Tip - Apply immediately after drying off from the shower while you're still slightly damp.

Amla Oil, Grape Seed Oil, Hazelnut Oil, Perilla Seed Oil, Hemp Seed Oil, Carrot Seed Oil, Jojoba, Black Cumin Seed Oil, Avocado Oil, Wild Orange Oil, Tangerine Oil, Brazil Nut Oil, Borage Oil, Siberian Fir Needle Oil, Douglas Fir Oil, Hemlock Spruce Oil, Buddha Wood Absolute, Elemi Oil, Pomelo Oil, Copaiba Balsam, D-Alpha Tocopherol, Ylang Ylang Complete, Clove Oil

Body Hair Conditioner

Muff Diver nourishes and hydrates body hair, including beards, armpits, and pubic areas. It's enriched with fatty acids and nutrients from oils like Amla, Grape Seed, and Hazelnut, conditioning each hair shaft for stronger, thicker, and shinier hair, enhancing health and appearance.

Frizz Control

Muff Diver effectively tames frizzy and unruly hair. Ingredients like Jojoba and Avocado Oil smooth flyaways, transforming rough textures into sleek, manageable styles. Suitable for all hair types, Muff Diver ensures a polished look, whether the hair is sparse or dense.

Deodorant

Beyond conditioning, Muff Diver combats body odor with its rich scent profile of vanilla, fir tree, and tangerine. Natural fragrant oils like Wild Orange and Tangerine provide a refreshing and enduring aroma. Additionally, Muff Diver aids in reducing razor burn and preventing ingrown hairs, contributing to the overall comfort and health of the skin.

Amla Oil

A vital component for body hair care, Amla Oil is rich in essential fatty acids and nutrients, boosting hair strength, thickness, and shine. Ideal for nourishing and enhancing the health of body hair, it ensures each hair strand is conditioned and vibrant.

Grape & Hazelnut Oils

Working together to provide lightweight hydration, effectively reducing frizz and improving body hair texture. Grape Seed Oil smooths and hydrates, while Hazelnut Oil's astringent properties maintain healthy skin beneath the hair.

Tangerine Oil

Tangerine Oil contributes significantly to the deodorizing aspect of Muff Diver. Its refreshing scent provides a lasting and appealing aroma, perfect for masking body odor in areas like armpits and the pubic region. Additionally, its natural fragrance enhances the overall sensory experience of using Muff Diver.

Product Reviews

Customer Reviews

Based on 10 reviews
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M
McKenna
MUFF MADNESS

Hooked at first pump! I've had razor burn issues with my ultra sensitive from the moment I started shaving to the point that I parted ways with shaving my legs entirely.... just couldn't get comfy with rocking the fuzzy look elsewhere (physical preference not the look!) , so enter Muff Diver! I'd tried enough of Morgan's products to know that I might find a great solution in this sultry and delicious smelling oil. Bingo! I'm now fully hooked and use it all over on the DAILY! I used to need some kind of deodorant now and again throughout the week, but now a few drops of Muff Diver is all I use to feel confident and smell fresh all day long.

E
Elizabeth D.
In Love

Just started using the Muff Diver product and I am absolutely in love. The smell and immediate effects are divine. The product is high quality and expertly created. Additionally, the packaging and extra products provided from the team was wonderfully received. Let alone an original art piece by Morgan! I mean, hello goddess, I love you! I have already spread the word about this product and the Surreal Skincare experience. Definitely a new loyal customer and will be shouting this company's name from rooftops. Keep up the amazing work! I appreciate y'all!!!

d
dottie
does what Morgan says it does, and then some

after many surreal skincare purchases, and many years of seeing my partner struggle with irritation and ingrown hairs whenever shaving his beard (and even when he doesn't), i snagged a bottle of this to see if it would help. and it does! he loves it!

his reviews:
- it works instantly to soothe the irritation
- a little goes a long way, just a dab will do you
- "smell isn't too-too strong"

and for me -- Morgan is not messing around when using words like "orgasmic" and "intoxicating" to describe the smell of it. it smells amazing out of the bottle already, herbaceous and lush, but when you put it on a body? great googly moogly. let's just say he and i didn't get much sleep the first few nights he started using it.

i almost feel as though my nose is spoiled by the scent of Muff Diver. that junky fragrance in "masc" colognes, deodorants, body washes, aftershaves... that stuff has absolutely NOTHING on the smell of Muff Diver. that stuff smells like guys, dudes, boys. Muff Diver, on the other hand, smells like a Daddy. (and yes, women can rock it too)

thanks for yet another amazing product that i hope you never stop making!!

D
Debbie
diver down

I have been a client for the past year and have loved all the products for myself. I purchased muff diver for my husband. He doesn't have a beard, but the recommendation for razor burn caught my eye. After every shave he is always raw. This has done miracles for his razor burn. Even friends have commented on how great his skin looks, which makes me eager for the diving of the muff!!!!

B
Bunny
seborrheic dermatitis - puts out the fire, gets rid of the crud

Anna's review made me wonder if this would help sooth my Seborrhea which is on my scalp. While there is no cure for it and other things I've tried failed I thought this was worth a try.

It does a very good job of calming down a flare up. I apply it and rub it in.

Yeah, it does make my hair rather greasy if I apply more than I meant to BUT given that my hair is on the dry side, as most curly hair is, it's ok I can deal with it. It's a good conditioning oil.

I use the applicator and apply some to where my scalp is inflamed the most then rub it in with my fingers to make it spread.